Portrait image ©John L. Stiles
If you know what a Challenge Coin is, great. If you don’t, click here.
For now, think of them as a business card but possessing of far-greater depth, breadth, (and heft). Again, if you know what one is, great!
Nevertheless, if your interest is growing as to where this Substack is going, know that the Challenge Coin will come to play in a few more minutes.
***
Jet-lagged, hungry, and powerfully in-need of a change of clothes, we had to be a sight! Rick Lingberg, John Stiles and I trudged our way to a randomly chosen table in the hotel’s empty dining room just minutes after the kitchen had closed for the night.
It had been a long day and a half. Separately and together, we three had just chalked up 36+ hours of airport-surfing and airplane-fidgeting on a trek across the globe to get where we were — the Hanoi Hilton (Garden Inn).
Rick and I were addled-silly, the result of too much airline wine, too many airline cookies, and absolutely zero airline sleep. Stiles, on the other hand, was alert, focused and ready for the task; traits that were inherent in the man’s success (more on that later).
Nevertheless, in an act of hospitality (or perhaps pity) the kitchen agreed to one more fare; pizza and another round of wine was ordered in the vain hope that it would accelerate our trajectory towards badly needed sleep.
Now’s a good time for some back-story…
Rick and I were there to document a particularly poignant moment in Stiles’ experience as a war-fighter. He had served in the USAF and flew combat missions during the Vietnam War. 201 of them, to be precise. Some of those missions were boring, some were exciting, with one in particular being the inspiration of the trip.
For now, it bears stating that Stiles is an extraordinary man, even among his warrior class. The only trigger he pulled in combat was the one that operated the cameras on his RF-4C Phantom reconnaissance aircraft. He specifically signed up to fly these supersonic aerial eyes because of his desire to do his duty without being directly responsible for killing.
There’s ample opportunity to learn more about John and his convictions later. For now, know that Col John Stiles, Ph.D. (ret) is one who’s lived life navigating the fine balance of submitting to greater duty, adhering to personal conviction and acting on all with intention and discipline.
More on that later, too. But back to this particular story.
On a previous trip to Hanoi, I met the (former) North Vietnamese fighter pilot who shot Stiles down and decided that connecting the two former foes on their former battlefield (so to speak) would make a great documentary.
Stiles and VPAF pilot Nguyen Hong My had met twice before. Of course, the first time was on January 20, 1972 when Hong My and his MiG-21 fighter blew the tail off Stiles’ Phantom over western North Vietnam. The result of that was a wickedly violent ejection and cat-mouse evasion from eager Pathet Lao soldiers. Suffice it to state, that Stiles lived is proof that he avoided The Pathet Lao.
The second time he met Hong My was in the United States some forty years later. Through circumstances that are best told via BGen Dan Cherry’s excellent book, “My Enemy, My Friend,” Hong My traveled to the US and toured with Dan and John to promote the strange and fantastic relationship they shared — three months after shooting Stiles down, Hong My was shot down himself by Cherry!
The three had a great time touring the USA, telling their story as former foes, now friends. Hong My (maybe) had the most fun, going from event to event, wearing his new star-spangled shirts. He was especially proud of his ironic name, “Hong My” is sorta translated, “Red American.” Their collective story was/is everything a thinking-person can imagine: authentic, inspiring, powerful, personal.
However, I wondered if the story would change; instead of Hong My being the visitor, would things be different if the location were flipped?
Heady stuff to ponder. And we’d soon learn, too.
The pizza was delivered to the table along with another bottle of wine, a cordial toast was made and I decided to assume the rightful role of Director/Producer and hold court.
“So this is how I see this unfolding…” I started…
“What?” John interrupted briskly.
“The story we’re…” I started to explain.
“No.” Stiles raised his finger, leaned forward and stated firmly, “This is my story. Not yours.”
Rick’s eyebrows shot straight up, and he silently mouthed the word, “Whoa…”
[insert awkward silence]
This was a crux moment. Not only for the health of a project that had consumed an enormous amount of time, energy, and money but, as I still experience today, my life. Stiles’ sharp intentionality burned right through any stupor, etching a message that I will never forget into my History Geek consciousness:
A person’s story is theirs to tell…
Maybe I said it, maybe I didn’t but right now, as I’m writing these words, it seems my response to Stiles admonition was a humbled, mumbled, “Yessir.”
The next day, half-rested, and tasked with setting up the week’s filming, Rick and I wondered…
“You think he’s pissed off?”
“Dunno.”
“You think he’s going to end up being an asshole?
“Dunno…”
“Well, we’ll see what we get.”
» Fast forward »
Hong My was great, the Vietnamese were great, and most importantly for the project, Stiles was even greater. He was a terrific ambassador to the times, sharing anecdotes, context, and events as only someone who “was there” (and a post-service Doctorate in Education) could offer. It’s a just reward that Stiles has become a trusted resource and spokesperson for those looking for more insight into the terrific complexities of all-things-Vietnam-War.
Heck, the RF-4C that he was flying when Hong My shot him down is even available a die-cast collectible!
Anyways…
Sometime in our separation, leaving Hanoi, I thanked Stiles for his setting me straight on what my privileged role as a content-generator should be — a reporter, a facilitator and any opinion thereafter handled with the greatest of care. The other-guy’s story is/should remain sacred. Writing this now, I have a hard-gulp; thousands of people ‘read my stuff’ every month. I’m certain my taint is everywhere but had it not been for Stiles, it’d be a hell of a lot more systemic.
But back to the moment, there was an important caveat that I had to express, “What happens when you’re dead? What happens when you’re not around to make sure your story is the way it was, and not changed by someone else?”
I don’t remember exactly how Stiles responded, but I do remember stating, “You need to write all this down, John. You need to write your book.”
Ok…
This is not a book review and I won’t review “Bullwhip 26” because… I have no right. Suffice it to state, Col John L. Stiles, PhD is an extraordinarily alert, focused and disciplined writer. Surprise-surprise. Last year, when he was explaining that he wanted to focus purely on his year’s war-fighting and write in a way that his grandchildren could appreciate, I knew that he’d accomplish that task brilliantly (and he did).
I got my honorary copy in the mail and surprised myself by reading it so effortlessly and learning SO much more… the experience demanded a call to see how the book was doing…
“Oh great! All proceeds are going to the Wayne Community College High School…”
“No. How’s the book doing for you?”
[awkward silence]
“John (Stiles), this book is much more than a way for Wayne Community College to make money. This is your story and it’s an extraordinary one!”
Stiles’ reflexive deflection that “all proceeds go to…” is a reflection of his generosity, leadership, and financial security. It’s also a reflection of his modesty — people who’ve truly ‘been there and done that,’ especially war fighters, typically don’t see their roles in the same spotlight that the rest of us do.
Bullwhip 26 is a terrific read, period.
Ok, so back to the idea of Challenge Coins.
The photo below is my own Challenge Coin*. I have my own so I can play the part when I meet others who’ve ‘earned theirs’ in more historic action (you did read about them in the link above, right?)
Anyways, I just took the picture below; in the background, is my autographed copy of Bullwhip 26 — the way it was effusively autographed, my progeny are going to think I’m almost as cool as the guy who wrote it.
The blur of the background is intentional as it reflects the inherent fog of learning from others. You can’t really see but the photo is of myself, Hong My, and Stiles, taken during a print-signing of my artwork featuring My’s MiG and Stiles’ Phantom. Are their stories clear? No, at least not when I’m telling them. But better than nothing? I sure hope so.
It does my soul good to know that Col John L. Stiles finally got around to writing his book. Now, the rest of us have one more chance for the clarity that only comes through life.
A person’s story is theirs to tell.
When they’re gone, we only get a reflection of what the story is all about.
Thus, the verbiage on my coin… (see foreground in the picture).
John Stiles’ “library” will stand the fire of time. And I’m so very proud to have his book in my own library.
*First person to send me proof of their purchase of Bullwhip 26 gets one of my WAOMDALB Challenge Coins.
To tell a story without being present as the ‘teller’ is hard to do. It’s like the guy dressed in black that hands Clapton the guitar, or the stagehand that prepares the stage for the next scene…
I’m reading a (best-selling) book by a (celebrity) author about a period in US History that interests me. Infuriatingly, she pops into the narrative to point out her personal opinion of the actions of others. There’s plenty of good information in there, but her insinuation into the acts of others that occurred before she was born….well…it’s a library book, so I can’t throw it out the window.
You wear the black well, and plus, I hear it’s ’slimming’.
I’ll get the Stiles book, and you can guess what I’m reading…😂